Sunday, December 11, 2011

Survey says.....

Survey Says….How old do you think you will be when you stop having sex? Just like the game show, well sort of, I am polling all of you to prove a point! If you know me, then you are well aware that when I think I’m right about something, I will go to extreme measures to prove my point.  This is one of those extreme measures. Just for the record, when I prove this friend wrong it will be a very glorious moment for me. I need this people!
To protect the identity of the friend and the family, some of this may be exaggerated or changed to make my case stronger, but mostly to hide “friends” identity!! Let me share the story….
Troy (friends’ new name) and I are having a drink at an establishment. Troy was telling me a story about (his/her) mom having a boyfriend. The story went like this….Mom, which is in her mid-60’s, has been “disappearing” for hours on end and her vehicle has been spotted in various parking lots around town. She has been divorced for a while, so it’s not a far stretch to know what she is doing every day. I mention to Troy my thoughts on the ordeal and to my shock (he/she) was completely in disagreement. Troy seemed to think that by the age 55 most people are done having sex. With complete shock and amazement that (he/she) could be so naive to think such nonsense, I decided to ask everyone sitting at bar. I will refrain from telling you what they all said, just so this poll isn’t weighted to one side. I now ask all of you who are reading this to comment either on the link or on the post. Tell me at what age do you think people stop having sex!

Monday, December 5, 2011

Dear Santa.....

Dear Santa~

I've been bad a few times this year, but it was worth it. I was hoping this confessional will get me off the naughty list!

Two weeks ago I was mocking the song “Santa Baby” I know it was completely offensive to you, but Santa…really, the song is so misleading! No woman beats down the door of a fat old man who is married and only works one day a year. I lied to my son last week about you…. Santa Claus: He knows when you are sleeping. He knows when you are awake. Sounds like Santa has Facebook. It’s ok though…he believed me! Oh yeah and the time I yelled, “If you have visions of Sugarplums, get the hell away from me.” Yeah, that probably wasn’t appropriate. I also may have been really mad at you last year when I asked for a million dollars and you brought me a candy cane. In all honesty, your generosity is completely exaggerated by most.

So now on to my list for the year….. All I want for Christmas is you. Just kidding! I want a new car or the million dollars you didn’t bring me last year.

Thanks Santa~
Chelle<3